Air Travel Sucks

I flew from Atlanta to Newark today as I left our WW Sales meeting and headed up to NJ for a family reunion.  Since we lived in Freehold, NJ, of Bruce Springsteen fame, for 6 years I know what Fridays are like in the summer on the Garden State Parkway.  They are basically a very slow moving parking lot as many bail out of NYC and heads to the Jersey Shore.  I planned on arriving early enough to avoid the majority of this.  Since air travel was involved I should have known better.

When I arrived at the airport in Atlanta to check in, I was told my flight was delayed and they would rebook me on the next flight.  It was a 10 am flight and with a stop in Charlotte, this would get me into Newark only 35 minutes later at 1:59pm.  I was skeptical though.  I had spoken to AMEX travel and they had me a nice reservation on Continental that would leave at the same time but would get me in at 12:15 since it was direct.  The only glitch was I would have to buy the Continental ticket for $320.  Before buying the new ticket, I asked Fred at the US Air counter if he could review the exact times for me, tell me where the plane in Charolotte was coming from and if there was any weather along the way.  Everything sounded good.  Fred was very friendly and made sure I had a window or aisle and off I went.  I was skeptical that things were going to go as Fred assured me, but, happy I had saved the company some money.

The first leg was fine.  We were on a larger jet and, although we left late, we arrived on time.  Since we were only 3 gates from the original Newark flight I was on, I walked over to see if I could get on it.  Sorry the gate agent said, we are in a hurry to close this out and I don’t have time to make the change.  Ok, not to worry, Fred told me I would only be 35 minutes later.

I headed off to the gate for my flight.  The plane was a regional jet and that part of the terminal was a bit of a walk.  Not a problem though, I had plenty of time and it would give me some excercise.

I arrived at the gate with plenty of time, 11:30am for a 12:11 flight.  I went over and bought a burrito for lunch and still had time.  About 10 minutes before 12 the gate agent said we would board soon and she started to take out a passenger in a wheel chair so she could board.  The co-pilot stopped her though and they exchanged a few words.  She brought the woman back in.  Hmm, I’m thinking this is not a great sign but we’ll see.  At 12:05 we still aren’t boarding and I noticed a man up talking with the co-pilot and the gate agent.  After he got done I walked over and asked him when we would board.  He said they told him someone from the crew went to get something and we would board shortly.  The co-pilot told him “we’ll be wheels up by 12:30″.  Sure we will.  This whole time I’m noticing that no one has a sense of getting this plane out on time or even close.

We finally board about 12:20 and are just pushing back at 12:30.  We weren’t “wheels up” until at least 12:50.  We were on our way though which is always encouraging.  The flight was relatively smooth and we finally started our descent around 1:50.  Since you start descending abour 20 minutes before you land, my friend Fred’s assurances that I would only be 35 minutes late weren’t going to come true.  No surprise since I was flying US Air and going to Newark, not a good combination.

It seems like forever before we actually end up on final approach.  I look at my watch, 2:20.  I’m annoyed now since I know I still have to get down the Garden State Parkway and every minute counts on a hot, sunny Friday.  I was sitting there as we at about to touch down, looking down at the seat in front of me, when something doesn’t feel right.  It feels like the nose has come up and we are accelerating.  I look out the window and sure enough, we are climbing.  We just aborted our landing.  Wonderful.  I can’t wait to hear the explanation for this.  After we climb to a safe altitude and I watch the airport pass by the window, so close, the co-pilot announces “Air traffic control didn’t sequence us right.”  That’s the whole announcement.  Fortunately I knew what that meant.

Now we get to do the whole thing over again and the minutes are passing by.  25 minutes later we finally touch down.  As a large group of us were waiting in the blazingly hot jet way for our carry ons, I see the co-pilot taking his bags off the plane.  He looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world.  A man that doesn’t have anywhere to be at any set time.  That must be nice.

I finally get my carry on, meet the driver and off we go.  He mentions casually, “yep, it’s hot and sunny today, that means the Garden State is going to be a mess.”  I know I grumble.  It’s now after 3pm and my plan to beat as much of the Friday traffic as possible has failed, even with Fred’s assurances.

Not to fear though, the driver was a wiley veteran of these parts and we missed all of the traffic by taking a couple of local routes.  An hour after I left Newark I was at the hotel.  He did it.  He saved the day!  Now it’s time to relax and get ready for the reunion tomorrow!

I have to say, air travel in the US is a crap shoot.  I avoid it if at all possible for all of the reasons I experienced today.  It’s not reliable, the system is bursting at the seams, the employees are overworked.  It’s the perfect storm.  It’s an embarrassment.

Off to Atlanta

I’m off to Atlanta this week for our annual world wide sales conference. Although it will be hot, I actually like having it in Atlanta. Mainly because if you are at a hotel downtown it’s an easy walk to the convention center. I know it sounds like a simple thing but it actually saves money because people don’t take as many cabs to get around. I think the worst locations we have had it in are Orlando and Miami because the hotels are so spread out from the convention centers.

I also feel the need to comment on the continuing saga of Microsoft buying Yahoo!. We need to get our act together and either buy them or get over it. All of this we’re interested, we’re not, we want the whole thing, we only want search. Someone needs to figure it out and get it done. It’s obvious that Yahoo! management (Jerry Yang in particular) hates Microsoft and you know what, that’s ok. But either get the deal done or lets spend our time and money on something more productive.

Vacation

I was on vacation last week and we had a good time. It’s always good to get some time away from work and focus on the family. We went to Rochester to visit our families (we are both from there). We spent a couple of days at the pool. I always enjoy going to the pool or beach during the summer. For me it’s the classic summer activity.

I was also able to get my first round of golf in for the summer. It was a bit of a last minute game. We had a tee time for Thursday but the weather was looking iffy so my brother-in-law called and asked if I wanted to play Wednesday afternoon. We got off at 3:45 and finished a little before 8 and it was perfect. The weather wasn’t too hot, we never had to wait to play a ball and we never had to hurry because people were waiting behind us. That’s where the perfect stopped though. My score wasn’t perfect, but, I had fun which was the main goal. As it turned out, we did get rained out the next day so I’m glad we got out when we did!

Maureen’s sister and their 4 kids came up for the 4th too. The 6 cousins had a great time playing and going to the pool. Between their kids and ours they range in age from 16 to 6. It’s fun to watch them all play and see how the different personalities interact. They pick up right where they left off the last time they were together and get along very well. I hope they are still close when they hit their 20’s and 30’s and beyond.

After all day at the pool on Friday, everyone was tired out so we opted to watch fireworks on TV. I know that’s pretty lame, but, it worked and no one was complaining.

We drove home yesterday to avoid the traffic on Sunday and I’m glad we did. I like to have a day at home before I have to head back to work. We are in our busy time right as we start the new fiscal year so there is a lot to do. I can’t wait for my “real” vacation in August. 2 weeks of no work…just family, fun, sun and, hopefully, golf.

Amazon reviews for Doctors

I don’t know if anyone else out there has run into this, but, I am looking for a “few good” doctors. Since we have only lived here 18 months, we haven’t built up our directory of doctors. We have our primary care physicians and a pediatric practice for the kids which is a good first step. But it’s the specialists that are hard to find.

I have asked my primary care doctor for a couple of specialists but haven’t been happy. Unfortunately it’s not something you find out until you’re already there. So I don’t ask him anymore. There’s always the internet but I am always left trying to decide if what I am reading is going to match my expectations.

I think there needs to be the equivalent of Amazon reviews for doctors. I have come across a few sites that focus specifically on doctors and some type of rating system but you have to pay for them. First off, I don’t know if the information they have will be useful since I have never heard of them and second, I don’t want to pay for something that may not be useful. All of the major cities that have magazines (Washingtonian, Seattle, Boston, etc.) typically do a “Top Doctors” issue. But are they really the top doctors or are they just the ones with the best submission form?

I am confident I’m not the first person that has experienced this so I am wondering if anyone has found a better resource for finding doctors?

Where are all of the good doctors listed?

Vacation is here

What a week. I’m exhausted. This was the last week of our fiscal year and, like any sales organization, everyone worked long hours. It was good though. It’s time like these when friendships are strengthened and shared experiences happen. I work with a wonderful group of people that are passionate about their work and keep pushing through the finish line.

I started vacation today which I am looking forward too. A lot has gone on in the last month. Rufus, work, soccer parties, tball party, family visits….basically life. I feel behind though. I feel like there are so many “little” things that I have ignored lately and I need to get them done. It’s not that they are hard or complicated, it’s just making the time to do them. Things like Dr’s appts, hanging a few pictures in the house, catching up with friends, posting to my blog. All of the normal things that never rise to the top of the to do list until you feel like you are behind. It will be good to check those off of the list and focus on family.

We are heading up to Rochester for the 4th of July to visit both sets of parents and my sister and her family. It will be fun and I am looking forward to it. It’s trips like these that I missed when we lived in Seattle. The little trips where you get to see everyone and catch up. The older I get the more I appreciate these times. I remember growing up and my parents taking me to visit relatives, some I had only met a few times because we didn’t live close. They were keeping the family connection going. Although the way we keep in touch is different than my parents, the intent is the same.

We had a milestone birthday last week. My Aunt (great Aunt really) turned 90! She lives in the country in Louisiana and I have so many great memories of her when we would visit my Dad’s family. She is a strong woman who always did the right thing and would help anyone. It’s a different life living in the country. Laid back. Not the intensity of a city. Definitely not the pressure of living in the Northeast (yes, the Northeast has an intensity I haven’t experienced in other parts of the country). I always liked visiting as a kid. My Uncle (her brother) always owned horses so I got to go riding. I would go fishing and even hunting once. The food was excellent and there was always a lot. Lots of good memories.

Seattle

I am in Seattle for a few days on a business trip. Since we lived here for 2 1/2 years it was great to come back.

As we were flying in we had an amazing view of Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Rainer. The sky was crystal clear and cloudless. It reminded me of how amazing Seattle can be between July and October. It’s truly amazing. Sunny, no humidity about 70 degrees. Beautiful.

I picked up my rental car and headed out to the Microsoft campus. I was struck by the amount of construction going on. Both in Bellevue and on the Microsoft campus. I had lunch with a friend and it was great catching up on what he was doing and the family. He’s a great guy and I really enjoyed the time I worked for him. I headed over and got a haircut from the girl that would cut my hair when we lived there. She works at the Pro Sports Club salon and knows exactly how I like my hair cut. The Pro Club is AMAZING. I think it’s the largest gym in the country. They have fabulous facilities and it’s one of the “little” things I miss. All Microsoft employees get a membership to the Pro Club and they have everything you could ever want.

I had dinner on Puget Sound at Ray’s Boathouse. A fabulous restaurant as much for the ambiance as the food. It was a work dinner and most of us had not been there before. Because the weather was so nice there were a bunch of sailboats out on the sound which were fun to watch.

Tuesday started off with cloudy but by dinner time the clouds had moved through. I was staying at the Woodmark Hotel which is on Lake Washington and had dinner looking out on the lake. Fabulous.

The trip was over too fast though. I didn’t get to catch up with everyone I would have liked to see. I also want to go up to our old neighborhood and see our old house. I miss living there because the quality of life is great, the people are wonderful and there is so much to do. That said, lots of cloudy days combined with being surrounded by mountains makes for a very closed in feeling. At least for me. Plus, I like knowing I can drive to see family.

I look back and I am so glad we took the leap and moved out there. It was a fun adventure and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Yahoo! and Google

As I have said before, I’m not part of our online business at Microsoft. But, even from an outsiders perspective, the Yahoo! + Google ad deal doesn’t pass the sniff test. I don’t care if it’s non-exclusive. I don’t care what Eric Schmidt or Jerry Yang or the other talking heads from either company say. This is bad for the industry and bad for advertising. Kara Swisher did a great job in her BoomTown post in April to explain many of the reasons this is a bad thing all the way around. I hope the FTC takes a long, hard look at this and realizes how bad this is for everyone.

On the topic of Yahoo!, I can’t help but comment on Jerry Yang’s current predicament. Let’s see, since the Microsoft deal went south he has been under intense scrutiny by the media, analysts, and shareholders. Then Carl Icahn decides to jump in and has been ripping into Jerry and the Yahoo! board on almost a daily basis, the shareholder lawsuit in Delaware has started to shine a light on some of the things Yahoo! did to squelch a sale to Microsoft. As of late, the very people he wanted to keep with the severance plan have started to jump ship and the stock is sinking fast. It’s been a tough 5 months for Jerry and company. I suppose in Jerry’s mind he won. He didn’t sell to Microsoft.

A really great blog

I have been meaning to post for some time now about a great blog The Grand View.

This is a wonderful blog written by a friend of mine who lives in Boston.  He’s a Renaissance man.  He tells great stories, has an opinion (and can defend it), he’s not shy and I usually learn something new when I read his blog.  The other thing I admire about him and his blog is that he posts just about every day.  I have decided that now that Rick Reilly is no longer writing for Sports Illustrated, Mike should take over.  I think he would be GREAT.

If you get a chance, check it out.  I think you will see what I mean.

Rufus is home for good

It has been a busy week. We started off the week pretty good. Everyone was starting to deal in their own way with Rufus not being around. Maureen and I were still waiting for the reality of it to hit Matthew but we weren’t going to push him.

On Sunday, as I was sitting at the computer writing my last post, Matthew came into my office and sat down in one of the chairs behind me. He had just woken up and was looking at some of his poke man cards as I was writing about Rufus. I started to cry a bit as I thought about that puppy dog and stopped typing. Just sitting there with tears coming down my cheeks. Matthew could tell something was different. He got up and walked over and peeked around to see if I was crying. He just stood there for a minute staring at me. I turned and smiled at him and said “I miss Rufus”. That was it, his tears started coming in buckets. He came and gave me a hug and said he missed Rufus so much. He repeated what we had been saying, “at least he’s not in pain anymore”. But when he said it, it was as much a question as a statement. He climbed into my lap and we sat there for a little while. Neither of us saying much. I wanted him to see me cry so he would know it was ok to let it out. After that, we were both good for the day. It was a good day too. We just did some little things around the house, nothing that required too much thought or energy.

Tuesday was a big day. When we had Rufus put to sleep we made the decision to have him creamated and the ashes sent to us in a nice wooden box with a face plate on it. We didn’t ask any details when we did it, we were just trying to get through the moment. On Tuesday a package arrived from Fed Ex. Maureen could tell from the return address what it was. I guess I assumed we would get a call and have to go pick it when when it arrived instead of having it show up. Anyway, Matthew was home from school when it arrived and Maureen opened it up. It was a very tastefully done and they put it on a shelf in my office. When I called to say I was on my way home, Marisa told me that it had come and where they put it. When I pulled in the driveway, Matthew was outside waiting for me. He had a very serious look on his face. As soon as I opened the door he was at my side. “Dad, we got Rufus’ ashes today.” he told me. “Come on, I’ll show you.” and off we went. When we got to my office he pointed to the box. They had set a picture of Rufus up on top of it. He just stared at it with a very serious look on his face. I could “see” his mind racing, thinking about Rufus and the emotion inside. There were some tears from both of us. Rufus was finally home for good. I told him that he could come and see Rufus anytime he wanted and he could remember all of the fun times we had.

Wednesday morning was tough on Matthew. He was up and downstairs before Maureen got down. She found him in my office staring at the picture of Rufus crying. “I miss Rufus” he told her. I called shortly after to tell Maureen something and she told me where she found him. He wanted to talk so she gave him the phone. He was crying and told me how much he missed him. I consoled him as much as I could over the phone. By the time we got off, he had stopped crying, at least for now. When he got home from school that day he had a handful of Pokeman cards. One of his kindergarten teachers had found him at recess sitting by himself with a very sad expression on his face. She asked what was wrong and he told her we had gotten Rufus’ ashes the day before. Being a mother of a grown son who had also loved Pokeman, she gave him some cards that he could keep. Of course that put a smile back on his face and helped cheer him up. Teachers and Mom’s generally know the right thing to say and do when it comes to kids.

When we got up Thursday, things were definitely better. Rufus was home and that was the final piece. We were all able to put things in perspective and deal with our sadness and the reality that he wasn’t with us anymore. Life goes on and we do too.

My parents and sister TIna were planning on visiting for the weekend. She was going to drive them down from Rochester since they can’t make that long of a drive alone anymore. Unfortunately, the weather and a mild stomach bug threw those plans into disarray. A severe set of storms came through on Wednesday and knocked down trees and knocked out power for a good part of the area. We were without power from 3pm on Wednesday until Thursday morning (after 3 tries by the power company it finally stayed on). Fortunately we got it back considering the weather had turned and it was now in the 90’s and humid. We were some of the lucky ones because a lot of people were still without power on Friday. Anyway, Matthew threw up 3 times on Thursday afternoon so I called my Dad and sister and gave them the update. Power is going up and down and a so is Matthew’s stomach. We decided to talk again first thing Friday morning and they would make the call at that point. Matthew made it through the night without incident and so I thought they would be good to come. When I called though, my sister and Mom had made the decision to postpone the trip. Matthew was upset, but, it was probably the right decision. We had a busy Saturday with Matthew’s end of season Tball party and our neighborhood party. With the weather so hot and humid, the kids just put their swimsuits on and had water gun and water balloon fights all day. Ah, to be a carefree kid again. When we headed inside at 8:30 on Saturday night, there was something not quite right when I walked through the door. Then it hit me. I was expecting to see Rufus. It’s still hard to believe he is gone.

We have received so many wonderful cards, emails and thoughtful comments. We received a wonderful card from my boss and his wife. They have several dogs and he was so understanding when I told him what we were going through. Maureen’s Dad, never one to use a lot of words, but, always so eloquent when he writes letters or emails sent a wonderful note. My Dad wrote a very comforting email as well. Too many to list but they all did make a difference.

If you wonder why I seem to go into so much detail, it’s because these posts have become my online diary of how I felt about Rufus and what happened. I am trying to capture the emotions and the events so if and when I decide to read this again, I won’t have to rely completely on my memory. I’m also hoping when I read this it will be a reminder of how much he meant to me and our family.

“What’s going on Dad?”

This blog has turned into a way for me to express my grief, a way to get my feelings out and maybe it will help me come to terms with the fact that Rufus is not here anymore. A way to fill the emptiness I feel or at least co-exist with it.

There is one memory from the last week that I haven’t written about yet in much detail. Things were happening so fast on Tuesday. We had to make the decision to put him to sleep, debate whether that was the right decision (was there any chance we could save him?), explain it to the kids and help them understand and deal with it. It was a whirlwind and we did little more than react to the events unfolding. How do you really prepare for something like this? This also meant that I didn’t really think about the impact of the decisions we were making. Looking back, we made all of the right ones.

I remember talking with the vet and, through a crackling voice and tears running down my cheeks, telling her she had to do everything humanly possible to make him comfortable so we could bring him home for a few hours before he closed his eyes for the last time. I was not going to let him spend his last few hours on this earth in the animal hospital unless he absolutely couldn’t come home. The vet called back and said his vitals were strong enough that he could come home and so we, the whole family, went and got him. Tears flowing freely as we made the drive there an back.

I went in to get him and everyone else stayed in the car. We thought it better than having 4 crying people in the waiting room. What struck me most when they finally brought him out was how weak and pale he looked. I didn’t think a dog could look pale but he did. When you lifted his lip you could see the color was gone from his gums. A sign that he was losing blood. He wasn’t medicated other than a homeopathic medicine that would supposedly slow the bleeding. I remember carrying him to the car and placing him on Maureen’s lap.

When we got him home we put him in his bed in the family room and he sat there. Looking at us with a weak expression on his face. If you are a dog person, you know that they do express their thoughts/feelings through different looks. We took some pictures with him and mostly just talked to him and pet him. I am so grateful that he was able to come and spend that time at home with us. As much for him as for us. We all needed this time together at home.

When we got back to the vet they took us right into an exam room. I had called earlier and told them when we would be back and that I didn’t want to have to stand in the waiting room with him. I wanted to go right into the room with as little interaction as possible. The person I spoke with on the phone was so kind and understanding since he was having to fill in the gaps to what I was saying as I paused a lot to try and compose myself.

We had brought his bed with us to make it more comfortable for him in the car and easier for us to carry him. When we got in the room Maureen sat down and I put Rufus and his bed on Maureen’s lap and she started petting him like she always did. I know this was comforting to him as he laid his head on Maureen’s arm. He wasn’t moving his head but he was looking around by just moving his eyes. He was taking it all in, not sure what was going on. I remember looking into his dark eyes and his eyes were saying “what’s going on Dad?” I had seen this look before when he had surgery or had been to the vet for a check-up. He never liked going to the vet. I knew from his expression what he was thinking.

Dr. Angel, yes that’s her name, came in to administer the drugs. She explained that they would give 2 drugs. The first to make him sleep and the second would stop his heart. She told us something neither of us knew. When they give a dog anesthesia, their eyes do not close. She explained that it can be upsetting and asked us if we were sure we wanted to be there. There was no question or hesitation, we told her we were staying. It was unthinkable to Maureen and I that we would let him be alone when they did it. He had been with us for 12 years, through the good and bad, always there with unconditional love. We weren’t going to leave him now.

With his head still resting on Maureen’s arm and his eyes looking at me and occasionally darting around, she gave him the anesthesia. I thought he would go to sleep right away, but it was several seconds. It was easy to tell because his eyes went glassy and his body relaxed. She next gave him the drug that would put him to sleep. It was a large amount of a milky white drug. She administered it quick. It didn’t take long to work. Maybe 10 seconds…maybe 5. Everything was moving so fast…everything was a bit blurry. She checked and confirmed that he wasn’t with us anymore, told us how sorry she was and left us to have our time with him. We sat and pet him for a while. Saying our good byes.

I will always remember him looking at me right before she gave him the drugs. Those dark brown eyes questioning “what’s going on Dad?”…”why are we back at the vets, we were just at home?”. My heart aching because I wanted to fix things and this time I couldn’t.

After we got home and everyone went to bed I sat in the family room, the tv providing white noise. Maureen on the couch. Both of us were numb. We were in shock about what this day had brought us. Earlier in the day as we were all trying to come to grips with what was going on, Matthew, through his crying, said he was mad at the cancer and he just wanted to punch it. At this point, Maureen and I weren’t mad or angry, just numb. The reality of the fact that Rufus was gone was just now setting in.